The Cleanse from Hell

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Since I knew that I was going to start this “juice” cleanse on Sunday, I made sure to have a little bit of fun on Saturday.

SHOTS!!

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I was too lazy to dress up but all my friends did and they cracked me up!!!  Leslie (pictured above) was a piñata while her husband dressed up as a Mexican who had the piñata stick.  She even made her own costume!  The lunatics pictured below (Brendan, Javier & Ben) dressed up as the guys from Semi-pro.  Good times.

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Sunday I started what was supposed to be a 5 day “juice” cleanse that I bought from A Choice for Life.  I use quotations for the word juice because it was more like a tea cleanse.  It was awful.

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Each day is supposed to look a little something like this:

Breakfast: Protein shake (provided), tea (also provided), fruit, juice, water

Lunch: Fruit, juice, water

Dinner: Tea, fruit, juice, water

I only lasted for 2 days (you’ll see why below) and for dinner, I instead had tilapia and spinach.  I lost FOUR POUNDS IN TWO DAYS!  The upside was that I really was NEVER hungry and I actually had energy…BUT, let me tell you why it wasn’t worth it:

1) This “juice” cleanse was a total scam (in my opinion).  All they give you is the tea and the protein (which, you make in advance and it sits in your fridge for 5 days, GROSS!!!!).  You have to buy all the fruit and juice yourself.

2) Speaking of the fruit and juice, do you understand how much SUGAR and CARBS they want you to consume?  I mean seriously?!?!? Most “real” juice cleanses are made up of a healthy mixture of fruits and veggies.  Not this one!

3)  THE TEA.  That tea was like HUMAN DRANO.  I am not even kidding when I tell you that I had diarrhea 5 times per day!!!  Since I work in an office where all the women on the entire floor share a 4 stall bathroom, this was less than ideal.  It’s no wonder I lost so much weight in such a short period of time!  On a side note, I also had a very hard time staying hydrated due to aforementioned diarrhea.

I followed up this cleanse with the Look Better Naked 2 Day cleanse which you can get for free off of the Women’s Health Magazine Website (here: http://www.womenshealthmag.com/weight-loss/fast-diet).  This one is actually pretty good since it involves lots of lean proteins and veggies.

Even though I had energy, consuming so few calories had me very weary about doing any hardcore workouts (which I usually LOVE).  So, because of this weird week, here’s what my workouts looked/will be like:

Sunday: NOTHING, sat on the couch and ogled my husband’s real food

Monday: 1 mile on the treadmill (pathetic) + strength training – legs

Tuesday: NOTHING AGAIN (coming from someone who works out 5x/week, this is just terrible).

Wednesday:  NOTHING AGAIN (are we seeing a pattern here?)

Thursday: 3.7 mile run

Friday: Yoga!  I was a first-timer 🙂

Saturday: 5.6 miles outside.

Sunday: TBD (fitness class?)

My sister-in-law and her friend are Chicago for the weekend so that should be fun!

Have I ever told you guys how much I love these little fellas?

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Has anyone else done a disaster cleanse?

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